Doctors Remove Insane 100 Pound Tumor from Woman's Stomach

A petite Brazilian woman is undoubtedly feeling a lot lighter after doctors removed an almost 100-pound tumor that she had been living with for five years. Photos of the abdominal interloper are currently blowing up on Facebook.

“It is not every day you operate on a tumor of that size!” presiding surgeon Glaucio Boechat told Jam Press of the unprecedented procedure, which went down on Aug. 31 at the Hospital São José do Avaí in Rio de Janeiro. 

The unnamed patient, who stood 4-foot-9 and weighed 330 pounds, had reported to the clinic after suffering from shortness of breath, allegedly caused by the massive mass. There, doctors discovered that her midsection harbored a tumor weighing 100 pounds - as much as a baby hippo and compromising nearly a third of her body weight. - NY Post

Somebody tweeted this article at me this morning, and I included it in today's Rundown (because 90% of my job is outsourced to Stoolies). This is fucking wild though. I couldn't even tell you what a tumor is to be perfectly honest. I know they can be cancerous. But what are they? Just a giant blob in your body that keeps growing and growing? Are they caused by microwaves or sitting with your computer on your lap for too long? No clue. I'm going to sound even more stupid than I already am if I continue speculating. All I know is that tumors are bad, and if you don't get them removed you might die. 

But if you were this woman... Can you imagine how quickly you would get hired at Barstool Sports if you showed up to the office at 4'9", 330lbs???  Dave would give you a job in seconds. He'd probably give you the Yaks time slot.

The pictures in that article are fucking disgusting. I like the doctor standing over it like he just bagged a 14-point buck. He looks so proud. As he should be. That couldn't have been easy work. The article said that the operating theatre was packed with people watching the surgery, and that the "whole hospital mobilized to perform the procedure for the patient" It's never a good sign when your doctor calls in another doctor in to "check this shit out." Let alone the entire hospital. 

Congratulations to this woman, and props to that hospital. Waking up 100 pounds lighter than you were when you went to sleep must be an incredible feeling.